SEXY IS A STATE OF MIND

As a woman nearing her twenties, used to be overweight, is a self-confessed bookworm, and was bullied throughout high school, I couldn`t agree more with this article. Hey, confidence is really sexy and I have to say every lady should know this.

I really am appalled when I hear my friends say they`re not pretty, sexy, hot or beautiful enough for the guy they like, the clothes they want and/or —believe me or not— their friends. The harsh truth is that we all can`t help but compare ourselves to other people but let me tell you that it isn`t healthy when you always do. Comparing is unavoidable but it really isn`t necessary because we all are different human beings. We have, know, and do things that other people don`t and they have things that we don`t. You may say that life is “unfair” just because someone has what you don`t. Hey, why don`t we all just look at the good things we have and stop frowning at someone`s Instagram feed just because they recently went shopping and is having the “best weekend ever!! ♥ ☺” at this beach? My point is, we all have our highs and lows and whatever they are, it is what makes us unique. So what if you don`t have a thigh gap? So what if you failed math class this semester? So what if the guy you`ve been eyeing isn`t really talking to you? Learn from your experiences and mistakes. We can`t always get what we want but there is always a time for everything. If you feel so bad about yourself, you can always work with it. Make changes only because you`re doing it for yourself; not because you don`t want people to look at you like this or that. Do everything for yourself first and the rest will follow. Don`t get me wrong though, giving your all to anyone or anything isn`t really bad. Just know your limits. Do it because it`s your choice and not because you feel like you are obliged.

I don`t really believe that being sexy is all about your physical being. Sexy is a state of mind. The media portray skinny girls as the idea of beauty yet we all know we have something to feel good for. The only problem is that we are scared of judgments to be made by people who only know you through Facebook. We are so afraid to just be ourselves just because people may not like what we post and not hit the “Like” button. Remember, the number of likes on your photo does not determine who you are.

Popularity is not everything (it can actually be stressful). I remember starting my first blog solely because everyone had a Tumblr. It didn`t last long due to the fact that it wasn`t mainly my passion yet. Time passes and I believe I had received my calling. Keeping a blog is a bit tough, but now I do it because I want to. And I quote Gurkin from the movie Sydney White: “[Peoplespunisher.com] is not about being read; it`s about being written.” I always keep that in mind. Your passion isn`t always determined by how much attention you get from it but it should be how you execute it. Again, everything will follow.

I guess you`re wondering why I talked about blogging? I did because it`s my thing. It`s what makes me happy. It`s what makes me confident and sexy. It`s what I use to reach out to people. Ladies, and gentlemen if you`re reading this, always know that what you got is what you got yet there is always room for improvement but never, ever lose yourself. What media says what beauty is may not be beauty for you so keep it that way. We all have our quirks. Life ain`t easy but it`s worth helluva living. As Drake said, “Everybody dies but not everybody lives,” and living yours would be the sexiest thing you can do.

10 Tips on How to Kick Ass Your Year

Instead of calling them “resolutions”, these life strategies would help you live healthy physically, emotionally, mentally, and even socially.

1. Establish a rule.  Like me, I make it a rule to only use the internet for 3 hours a day, tops. I always put lotion right after a bath (your skin would absorb the nutrients better since pores are still open), or I put on lip balm at least 3 times a day. It sounds arbitrary, but our brains respond to that type of structure making us used to it.
 
2. Turn off the TV whilst eating! Studies prove that people take in 40 percent more food when watching television since our minds are focused on something else.
 
3. Change your desktop wallpaper regularly. Instead of creating mood boards, set photos that inspire you as your wallpaper since you most likely see it more often. Hello, web zombies!
 
4. Force it for 15 minutes. If you hate cleaning your closet, tell yourself you`ll do it for only 15 minutes. When your timer goes off and you can walk away, chances are you`ll just continue what you have started.
 
5. Make your password work for you. Because you type it every day, a password like “lose10poundsmonthly” or “NewJob2014” will help push a goal into your brain.
 
6. Count to 100 before you freak out. In the end, it`ll make you feel and seem more rational than panicking right away and making decisions impulsively.
 
7. Set a romance ritual. Take a walk every Saturday afternoon to catch up or try a new resto every  month during your anniversary. A little tradition that you both look forward to and enjoy can sturdy up your bond.
 
8. Only eat food on the plate. Since you see exactly how much you can and have consumed, it cuts off mindless chow downs.
 
9. Ask yourself: what would Beyonce do? Or Emma Stone or Jennifer Lawrence? Ask yourself what your role model would do in a sticky situation. If Tyra Banks was faced with a choice between studying for her final exams or a weekly bonding ritual with her bff, which would she choose? Then do the same.
 
10. Reward yourself. Make a mini bucket list for the week. Cross out every time you`re done with an entry and if every thing`s done by the deadline you set, reward yourself with your favorite comfort food or movie tickets to the movie you`ve been dying to watch with your special someone. That way, you`ll be motivated to finish things on time.

It isn`t too late to make better changes especially when it`s for your own sake. Just remember that this is all for a beautiful you. Learn to love yourself and everything will follow. Trust me, it doesn`t hurt to think for yourself.

Much love,

Jia